"All Things Work Together For Good": Not Just a Trite Expression

When my husband was 17 yrs old he found out his girlfriend was pregnant. 

They were not in love they we're not well suited for each other; they would not have chosen to be connected to each other for the rest of their lives.  He was a "good" boy from a wonderful Catholic home, no one would have expected this, most would hardly believe it.  And yet the many small decisions that led to one bigger decision suddenly had a new baby soul as it's witness.  That young 16 year old mom would suddenly be the "pregnant girl."  Her senior year would forever be remembered as the year she had a baby and the vision of her future would be altered forever.

I thank God everyday that those two scared teenagers chose life. 

I thank God that that young boy stayed to be her father and that her mother sacrificed her own desires to stay and be her mother. 

Because when that little girl was five years old I began the journey of learning to be her mother too.  
There's more to say about that then I can include in this post, but I can say, from the very beginning God gave me a peace, that this was his gift to me as well. Granted it came with myriad of other challenges and her mother and I had to learn how to respect and acknowledge the other, and my husband had to feel the sting of his past decisions resurface on occasion, and become a facet of our marriage.  But just because it was not the way God would have had them do things, did not stop him from redeeming the situation. We felt the ramifications more heavily sometimes than others, but above all we always knew that God was protecting this sweet soul. 

There were many times when we didn't think we'd make it. The road was long between that day in September when her teenage parents welcomed her into the world and that day in May when she walked across a stage to get her diploma. 

She could have been such a mess. She could have raged against God or joined her mom in simply not believing in him.  

But I believe that at the moment that beautiful girl was conceived in her beautiful mother's womb, that God was giddy with excitement and had plans and purposes that he knew would show the world that all things really can work together for good, that there is nothing he cannot transform with his great love. He chose to honor the simple "yes" those teenagers made to her life and he has done extraordinary things.  


There were many nights her dad and I cried out to God to show us how to love her better, how to meet her needs and mend her hurts.  She always felt divided, the way children always will when their parents aren't together.  She had two very different homes, different worlds. One where God was the center and one were God was not spoken of.  She had a world with a single mom trying to make ends meet and another one with a dad having a new baby almost every year.  But the immeasurable joy she brought into our lives was trans-formative for me, for her siblings, and for our marriage. 

Although we were always very involved in her life she made the decision as a young woman to come live with us, and her mother painstakingly gave her over to us at 15. I can only imagine this was a much harder decision than the decision to keep her when she herself was just a child.  She bravely let her come explore new possibilities, and a different kind of home.  I will always be grateful to her for that second selfless choice.  It is every mother's worst nightmare that her child would chose to leave and yet she let her go, and she never hated me for being her other mother. 


Last month our daughter graduated with many academic awards and a very special award called the Integer award. In her speech to receive that award through all the hot tears streaming down my face, all I could think was "God, you are really showing off."  Not only has this young woman graduated, but she has excelled and most importantly, she is a kind, compassionate, thoughtful soul. 

My beautiful daughter stood on that stage a woman, and articulated her great love for God. A God whom she learned had accepted her just as she was, a God who mended her hurts and revealed to her the many blessings in her life. She stood there, whole and happy, successful and strong but most importantly she stood there knowing how hard it was to get there.  She has seen me bear and birth 6 children, she knows vividly what it must have been like for her brave mother to have her.  She understands in a unique way, the sacredness of life. She knows her dad chose her and cared for her before he knew what he was doing and she saw me choose her and take her as my own when I took her dad as my flesh.  

And eventually she realized that ALL of that was the love of God, that God chose her as well.  That love her dad has always shown, the days he fed and rocked her as a baby, the daily calls he made when she was in Middle School and trying to disappear into herself, the privileges he took away once she lived here and just couldn't get in the swing of things, was a clear and beautiful reflection of the love of her heavenly Father; somewhere along the way she chose to let Christ love her too.  

It's impossible when we are in the eye of the storm to know that the calm is coming. And sometimes the "all things good" won't be clear at all this side of heaven but when we just say "yes,"  weakly,  begrudgingly, questioningly, we allow God to take control and give him the opportunity to show off a little. He will never be outdone in generosity. He will never be outdone in love.